
Children grow up being a parent is undeniably one of the most rewarding and inspiring roles in life. From exploring different parenting approaches to experimenting with a variety of techniques, we consistently strive to ensure our children grow up happy and successful. Ultimately, however, the essence of parenting lies in the bond between parent and child. The stronger this connection, the more positive the upbringing.
Parents play a crucial role in guiding their children’s education and career paths, even before fully realizing their own personal goals or family milestones. It’s essential for parents to instill core values, a sense of responsibility, and self-discipline. Today’s world presents countless distractions that can lead children astray, making it vital for parents to act both as caregivers and trusted friends to support a healthy parent-child relationship.
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From Partners to Responsible Parents
For many children grow up parenting comes naturally. While parenting classes can be helpful, they aren’t strictly necessary for effective parenting.
Through my work as a life coach, I’ve guided many parents via my parenting therapy program.Learning about parenting can be transformative for both children and their parents.I once worked with a single mother who felt overwhelmed and incapable of managing her son on her own.
During our sessions, I discovered the underlying issue: her son often blamed her for their incomplete family. She would try to comfort him with small lies to make him feel better. I advised her to speak the truth and even highlight the positive qualities of his father, so he wouldn’t develop resentment.A few days later, after another confrontation, she courageously sat down with her son and explained the situation honestly, including that his father had made poor choices. Though it was painful, she knew honesty was the only option.
Her son not only understood her struggles but reassured her, saying, “Mom, I will always be with you.”She left our next session beaming with relief. This story highlights that parents aren’t inherently flawed; sometimes their methods just need adjustment.I empathized with her fears and challenges. Parenting workshops are valuable, but they are most effective for parents who are willing to reflect and improve their approach.Many parents struggle, yet some are unwilling to acknowledge it or take steps to grow.
There are many important aspects of the parent-child relationship, but here are some of the most crucial ones:Overprotectiveness: Children need opportunities to experience life on their own. If they aren’t allowed to play freely, get minor scrapes, or handle small challenges, they may grow up overly cautious. Encourage them to face life’s realities, including understanding death, and respond thoughtfully when they ask about life’s mysteries. Let them take the school bus if available—it teaches responsibility, social skills, and caring for others. Allow them to enjoy playground time and intervene only when truly necessary; minor bumps and falls are part of growing up.
Overindulgence: Giving children everything they want can prevent them from respecting rules, relationships, or commitments later in life. Avoid offering rewards without reason, and teach them the value of effort and patience.
Boundaries: Setting limits early is essential. Children must learn rules and self-discipline while young; waiting until adolescence is often too late to instill these lessons.
Heritage: Many parents overlook cultural heritage because they haven’t explored it themselves. Help your children understand their identity as Indians, the history of this ancient civilization, and the principles of your family or organization. Teach them about spirituality, yoga, and their intersections with other faiths. Begin these discussions early, as teenagers often lose interest.
Family: Teach children the meaning of family. Introduce them to ancestors, origins, traditions, and notable family members—both admirable and cautionary examples. Spend quality time together daily and weekly, enjoying meals and shared activities. Encourage conversation and connection at the dining table before starting any meal.
Many parents often wonder how they can improve their parenting or help their children become more independent and successful.Every parent desires the best for their child. They frequently adapt their behavior and make sacrifices to provide their children with comfort and opportunities. Yet, as children grow older, they sometimes develop resentment toward their parents.Once children reach adulthood, they may distance themselves from their parents, sometimes avoiding outings or showing little appreciation for them.
In today’s fast-paced digital world, changes occur more rapidly than they did 15 to 20 years ago. From an early age, children become more tech-savvy and focused on digital devices.We have all seen young children handle their parents’ smartphones as if they were toys. While they are clever, they are still children who might accidentally click on anything. However, this doesn’t mean they should be completely restricted from using phones or computers.
Every day, many parents share similar concerns with me. For instance, a couple from a lower-middle-class neighborhood once came to me for guidance.They had only one son and had invested all their savings in his education. They gave him everything he wanted as he grew up. He eventually became an engineer and secured a respectable position at a well-known multinational company.
But as soon as he moved out to start his career, he became entirely absorbed in his own life. The parents thought it was due to a busy schedule or adjusting to a new environment, but in reality, he simply neglected them.Days would go by without him returning their calls or keeping in touch. He enjoyed spending time with friends so much that he considered his parents an inconvenience.He did not provide any financial support either. The parents, who had already spent all their savings on him, found themselves in a difficult financial situation. Whenever they asked for help, he ignored their requests.The father eventually fell into depression due to his son’s unkind behavior, prompting them to seek my help.
It is truly painful to witness children acting in such an ungrateful and disrespectful manner toward the very parents who gave them life and supported them.
Many parents often blame themselves when their children develop certain attitudes or behaviors. In reality, this is rarely the case. Most of the time, children adopt habits from the people around them.
Parenting is a lifelong journey that evolves alongside the parent-child relationship. One might think that as children grow older, parenting becomes easier—but it doesn’t. Parenting never truly ends. Perfection isn’t necessary, neither for you nor for your children.While there are no strict rules to guarantee raising a happy, successful, polite, and capable child, there are some practical approaches that can help. The goal isn’t perfect parenting; it’s about making consistent efforts to improve each day.
Parents are often the first and most influential role models in a child’s life. Strive to be the kind of person you want your child to become, as they are likely to follow your example. When children see you showing love and respect for others, including your own parents, they learn to do the same. Instead of just telling your child what to do, demonstrate it through your actions. Show them care and affection, and they will naturally reciprocate.
Some parents believe that being strict or overly controlling is the best way to raise their children. Constantly dictating what they should do or how they should behave can be damaging. Instead, offer your child love and understanding. Showing affection does not make a child spoiled, but overprotecting them or overindulging them with material things can be harmful. If you ever feel unsure, seeking guidance from a parenting expert can help.
Children need to feel that their parents are a safe haven. When they face difficulties, they should feel confident that they can turn to you for support. Unfortunately, many adolescents hide problems from their parents, which can lead to distance and misunderstanding. Make it clear that you are there for them, and they will learn to trust and seek guidance from you rather than others.
A common challenge, especially in some families, is parents making all the decisions for their children. This can prevent children from developing independence and confidence. Encourage your child to make their own choices as they grow. Over-controlling can create a sense of dependency, while fostering self-reliance helps them become capable and responsible adults.
By following these four practical strategies—being a role model, showing empathy, providing protection, and allowing independence—you can help your child grow into a happy, confident, and respectful individual.
Helps You Learn the Basics: Many new parents are not fully familiar with the essentials of raising a child. That’s completely normal—everyone faces challenges at first. Still, enrolling in parenting courses can help you gain valuable experience and develop your skills as a mother. There’s nothing to feel embarrassed about.
Enhances Your Understanding of Your Child: Due to the generational gap, conflicts between parents and children often arise. Parents may rely on outdated methods, leaving children feeling misunderstood. Parenting courses can help bridge this gap and strengthen your connection with your child.
Provides Insight into a Child’s Mindset: I’ve often seen parents who view situations only from their own perspective, which can create misunderstandings and tension. Parenting lessons can teach you about a child’s psychology, helping you understand why they behave in certain ways.
Supports Successful Parenting: The main goal of parenting courses is to guide parents who feel uncertain about their abilities. You’ll learn strategies to handle a wide range of situations. Even if you consider yourself a capable parent, these courses can further enhance your skills.
Encourages Learning from Small Details: Even massive organizations like Boeing can face catastrophic consequences due to minor overlooked issues, as seen in their 2018 and 2019 accidents. Similarly, small misunderstandings between you and your child can have lasting effects if not addressed. Parenting courses help you notice and address these subtle but important details, benefiting your child’s future and the family’s overall well-being.
Parenting courses are designed with only positive outcomes in mind. However, it’s up to parents to decide whether they want to participate. These lessons may not be useful for those who already feel confident in their parenting.
I personally recommend programs that follow a free-range parenting philosophy, though some may disagree. While religion can be significant in raising children, it doesn’t need to be part of every parenting method. Any approach that teaches life skills while keeping children safe, fed, and happy—without resorting to corporal punishment—can be effective. Parenting should not be used as a platform to impose personal beliefs.
There is no universal formula for raising children. Parents must adapt and grow alongside their children, addressing each child according to their unique personality. A parent’s role is multifaceted, and nurturing a lifelong bond of love, care, comfort, and respect is crucial for a child’s development. If you feel guidance would help, I, Ritu Singal, am here to assist you in creating a strong, lasting connection with your child.