Working parents are not aware of any specific research on this exact topic. There is, however, a considerable amount of research on how different or maladaptive parenting styles affect various aspects of development, particularly regarding adolescent drug use and social functioning. If you’re interested, you can search for “academic studies” on Google for more detailed information.

Regarding the prevalence of different parenting styles, a more useful question might be: “Are there common differences between mothers and fathers that generally appear?” I can only speak from my own observations here. Often, fathers seem to focus more on discipline and maintaining authority, while mothers tend to emphasize emotional concerns and building self-esteem. Working parents said, this is largely a stereotype, and many parents don’t fit this pattern. In some cases, it’s even the opposite: the mother may be stricter while the father is more lenient.

Read more about you can stay fit

Read more about Brazilian parents

The key issue lies in the underlying values and beliefs about how children should be raised, and how these translate into parenting practices. For instance, one belief might be “Children should be seen and not heard.” In practice, this could mean a child is not allowed to respond, question, or disagree when given instructions. On the other hand, a contrasting belief might be “Children should be allowed to express their feelings about what is expected of them.” In this case, the practice might involve permitting children to voice objections, disagreements, or questions. I’m not claiming that either approach is correct. The main point is that in order to examine and work with parenting styles effectively, we need to understand the values and beliefs that underlie them, which I’ll discuss further as we continue.

Working parents develop a parenting approach, often without realizing it. From a young age, we are exposed to the parenting methods of our caregivers—whether both parents or just one in single-parent households. Because these experiences occur early in life, when we are especially impressionable, they have a significant influence on us and are absorbed on a subconscious level. The ways we are nurtured, comforted, guided, and disciplined are not learned from external sources, but are deeply ingrained in our psyche through our interactions with our parents. By the time we become parents ourselves, the patterns established in our own family of origin are already in place, serving as the foundation for the parenting style we naturally adopt.

Some parents like Working parents tend to repeat the same patterns they experienced as children without considering whether those methods are truly effective. For parents like this, a common sentiment is:

“If it worked for me, it should work for my children.”

When asked by others about how well this approach works, they might respond with something like, “I turned out fine, didn’t I?” These parents tend to accept the parenting style they grew up with without questioning its value. The beliefs and values behind it are deeply ingrained and followed almost automatically. They usually experience little internal debate about how children should be raised. Their approach is straightforward, rigid, and clearly defined.

Know more about The Importance of financing

During my time in child welfare services, I once spoke with a colleague about corporal punishment. He said, “My father hit me often, but I turned out okay.” I didn’t know him well enough to judge whether that was accurate, but the key point was that, in his mind, his father’s parenting style was unquestionable. It was simply the way things were, and there was no reason to consider alternatives. He had fully internalized it and felt no hesitation about using the same methods with his own children.

Some parents like Working parents take a more deliberate approach to their parenting style, starting with the framework they were raised with but occasionally questioning certain practices. They tend to stay close to the patterns they know, yet are open to reassessing specific strategies if they find them particularly uncomfortable or ineffective.

For instance, a parent might come from a highly authoritarian background and generally agree with the idea that parents should maintain strict authority and control over their children. However, they may choose to reject corporal punishment as a method of discipline and instead adopt alternative techniques.

They make adjustments to parts of the original framework to improve outcomes. These changes involve a slight shift from the values they were raised with. Overall, though, they are hesitant to fully evaluate the entire parenting blueprint, as doing so could trigger anxiety and a sense of disconnection from their family of origin.

There is a third category of parents who are committed to learning as much as possible about parenting, whether or not they feel they already have a strong foundation. Working parents actively research a wide range of topics, including child and adolescent development, discipline, sibling dynamics, education, temperament, and every aspect of raising children.

They take the time to clearly articulate their values and objectives for themselves and their children, allowing them to create a parenting approach that aligns with these principles. They are more likely to ask themselves,

“What is my goal with this parenting method, and is it truly in my child’s best interest?”

They select what they believe are the most effective strategies and tools, using them as a starting point while remaining open to adjustments as they gain experience and knowledge. These parents may retain much of their initial parenting blueprint if it proves beneficial, but they are willing to make changes when necessary.

Even if they come from a background that was ineffective or abusive, these parents are ready to build their approach from the ground up. They follow a deliberate and thoughtful process when choosing how to raise their children.

Most parents fall somewhere in the middle, practicing what could be called a “semi-conscious approach to parenting,” meaning they give some consideration to whether the way they were raised needs adjustment. Unfortunately, I also think there are many parents who operate from a more unconscious standpoint, simply repeating the patterns they experienced or parenting without much thought to factors like child development, individuality, discipline versus punishment, a child’s unique temperament, or specific parenting needs. These parents often grew up with a style that emphasized rote habits rather than reflection and evaluation.

Believe it or not, this can be beneficial if managed properly. When two parents have differing approaches but are able to blend their methods through compromise and cooperation, a child can witness how differences can become complementary and constructive. No two parents are exactly the same, and even if they share core values and general parenting strategies, there will always be some variations—just as there are differences between men and women. Children are aware of this and can learn from it positively if the parents collaborate effectively. For example:

Kevin is a 12-year-old boy who wants to go fishing with his best friend’s family. They plan to go deep-sea fishing on a Saturday along the Gulf Coast, several hours from Kevin’s home. His friend’s family will drive and take their boat that is docked at the coast. Kevin first asks his mother, who immediately says “no.” She worries it might be dangerous and doesn’t want to take any risks. She isn’t open to discussing it. Kevin then approaches his father, believing he will be more flexible and might help persuade Mom. Dad thinks it’s a great opportunity for Kevin and is excited about the idea. However, he doesn’t give an instant answer. Instead, he says he will speak with Mom, and they will make a joint decision. When they discuss it, they set conditions: Kevin must talk to the parents taking him, learn all the details of the trip, review safety precautions, and establish a way to stay in touch. Once these requirements are met, they allow him to go.

In this example, it might seem like there wasn’t much difference in their approach. But if Mom had handled the situation alone, the answer would probably have been no. If Dad were in charge, he likely would have said yes immediately but may not have checked the necessary precautions, which were valuable. What matters is that Kevin understood how each parent would likely respond and used this insight to present his case effectively. This isn’t manipulation—he didn’t create conflict between them but appealed to both to achieve his goal. The parents wisely reached a compromise, allowing Kevin to see how opposing perspectives can work together to solve a problem.

Another advantage of having slightly different parenting styles is that a child can approach the parent who is less upset if the other one is frustrated. When done properly, this second parent can let the child express their feelings about the other parent without taking sides. This way, rules and decisions remain consistent, while the child has a safe space to share emotions and learns that relationships can handle disagreements.

This question is much more challenging because differences in parenting styles aren’t simply variations. Some approaches are more effective than others, and some can even be damaging. If the differences in style are minor and the child’s best interests remain the priority, then cooperative compromise is appropriate. However, if one parent is abusive, genuine cooperation with harmful practices is impossible.