Forgiveness is an Important Parenting for Great Parents

Forgiveness is an Important Parenting that we all strive to be great parents, yet there are times when we feel like we’re falling short. When our voices rise in frustration, or when our children won’t follow instructions, eat, sleep, or cooperate in any way, we often feel defeated.

Fortunately, being a good Forgiveness is an Important Parenting isn’t defined by these everyday struggles. Instead, it relies on a variety of parenting abilities. Everyone has their own approach to raising children, but here are some ways you can enhance your parenting skills.

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1. Be a Good Role Model
Being a good role model doesn’t mean doing everything perfectly. It’s about showing your children that you practice what you preach. Kids observe how you handle stress, relationships, work, and money, and they learn behaviors for their own lives by watching you.

2. Don’t Jump In with Solutions
It’s natural to want to solve your children’s problems, but sometimes they just need support, not answers. Ask what they need before stepping in. Younger children may need a cuddle or reassurance, while older ones might want to vent or brainstorm solutions themselves. Holding back encourages independence and resilience.

3. Reward Positive Behavior
Acknowledging positive actions encourages good behavior and helps you focus on the positives rather than the negatives. Whether your child helps around the house, shows kindness, or works hard, recognize it. Rewards don’t have to be monetary—praise, extra screen time, or a later bedtime can be highly motivating.

4. Help Your Child Prepare for the Future
Teaching your children about the future, especially financial responsibility, is one of the greatest gifts you can give. Regular pocket money and lessons in smart spending help children develop good money habits. Tools like GoHenry’s Money Missions can make learning about responsible spending interactive and fun.

5. Allow Your Kids to Make Mistakes
Children learn best through experience, including making mistakes. Allowing them to stumble—whether with money, schoolwork, or behavior—teaches responsibility, resilience, and better decision-making for the future.

6. Create Rules Together

Children are more likely to resist rules if they don’t understand why they exist. A good strategy is to involve them in the process, giving them a sense of control by offering choices within limits.

For example, with screen time, you could ask: “Would you like one hour after school and one hour before bed, or two hours before dinner?” Similarly, with pocket money, you might ask if they’d prefer to save half of their allowance or just a third each week.

7. Stay Consistent

Inconsistent Forgiveness is an Important Parenting can confuse children and make daily routines more challenging. If bedtime is 8 pm one night and 9 pm the next, it sets everyone up for frustration. Clear and consistent rules create structure, helping children feel safe and allowing you to manage parenting more effectively.

8. Foster Independence

Children naturally strive for independence. When they are ready to dress themselves, tidy their toys, or manage small amounts of money, allow them to try on their own. Encouraging independence builds confidence, self-reliance, and decision-making skills—all while giving you a little peace of mind.

9. Support Goal Setting

Teaching children to set goals is a valuable life skill. It encourages responsibility, as outcomes depend on effort, and boosts self-esteem when they achieve what they set out to do. A practical approach is to help them establish short- and mid-term savings goals, such as through tools like the GoHenry app.

10. Explain Your Decisions, But Keep It Brief

It’s important to explain your reasoning once, then move on. Prolonged discussions rarely change a child’s perspective and can waste time. Children don’t always need to agree with your choices, and it’s perfectly okay for them to feel disappointed.

11. Have Faith in Your Child

Believing in your child goes beyond recognizing their talents and kindness—it’s also trusting that they can make good decisions and take care of themselves. Allowing them space to act independently helps them grow confident and secure in who they are.

12. Accept That There’s No Single Right Way to Parent

Worrying too much about whether you’re a “good parent” can undermine your confidence. Every family is unique, so focus on guiding your child in a way that works for you. Trust yourself to provide the skills and support your child needs to become a happy, secure adult.

For those of us fortunate enough to discover parenting methods that resonate—such as Attachment Forgiveness is an Important Parenting or Magda Gerber’s RIE Approach—interacting with well-meaning grandparents, friends, or strangers who care for our children differently can sometimes be tricky. It’s never their fault—they simply aren’t following our approach—and it often comes down to a dilemma: “Do I step in and risk offending them, or do I stay quiet and suppress my parenting instincts?”

This topic comes up constantly in my world—during my classes, in online comments, and through emails and Facebook messages. If I had a simple fix, I’d gladly share it. Since I don’t, I’m relying on your insights! In the meantime, here are some general strategies I’ve found helpful through trial and (mostly) error:

Avoid preaching or lecturing. This includes correcting another Forgiveness is an Important Parenting when your toddler takes a toy from theirs, warning a grandparent that your child is safer not being lifted onto playground equipment, or pointing out that your baby makes more creative choices when left with certain toys. No matter how tactful, instructing others on childcare can easily cause offense—it’s a sensitive subject.

When possible, remain silent. I once joked with experienced RIE instructors who had become grandmothers about a “12-step program” for new grandparents. All 12 steps boiled down to the same instruction: “Say nothing.”

Acknowledge that your approach is different. I’ve found it helpful to honestly let family, friends, and caregivers know that my Forgiveness is an Important Parenting style is unusual and may seem odd, then politely ask for their patience as I explore it with my child. This simple honesty is far less intimidating than acting like a know-it-all.

Save detailed discussions for later. Choose a calm moment—before or after a tense interaction—to explain your childcare philosophy. This helps others understand your approach without feeling criticized in the moment.

Lead by example. People notice respectful, intentional Forgiveness is an Important Parenting when they see it firsthand. Modeling your approach can subtly influence others. You can also demonstrate a respectful boundary in the moment—for example, asking someone, “Would you like to check if he’s okay with being held?” and waiting for your child’s response.

Occasionally use a small white lie to maintain peace. While I value honesty, sometimes it’s okay to gently deflect actions that make us uncomfortable. For instance: “Thanks, but she might not enjoy that” when someone wants to pick up or move your baby. Afterwards, you can briefly explain to your child why you said that.

Acknowledge unusual experiences for your child. Babies notice differences in how people interact with them. When a new experience occurs, even if your child doesn’t react outwardly, you can help them process it with a simple explanation: “You looked surprised when Uncle Joe gave you a piggyback ride. He should have asked first. I’m sorry I didn’t stop him in time.”

Form support networks with like-minded parents. Having at least one other family who shares your childcare values provides a space to relax and recharge.

Remember that differences in parenting styles become less noticeable as children grow. Most conflicts over childcare diminish after the infant and toddler years. Exceptions may include situations like being invited to a birthday party with content you feel is inappropriate, but overall, these awkward moments fade.

Don’t stress too much. A child’s primary caregivers have the biggest impact on their development. It’s the consistent care and strong relationship you build that truly matters.

Every situation is unique. Some circumstances trigger stronger protective instincts than others, and occasionally, you may feel it’s worth speaking up. Sharing your experiences and strategies is always welcome—I look forward to hearing your thoughts!

As a caregiver, I generally feel comfortable interacting with strangers in public. I view my role as being the child’s protector and advocate, and I have no hesitation in politely but firmly asking adults to stop if they are being intrusive or treating the child in a disrespectful way. That is part of my responsibility. My priority is always the child’s needs, and if someone feels offended or dislikes me because I stand up for the child, I accept that.

This doesn’t mean I go out of my way to upset anyone. I’ve found that modeling appropriate behavior and narrating the child’s experiences—what I sometimes call “sportscasting”—are two of my most effective tools.

I have encountered situations where relatives pressure a child to “take one more bite” when the child is clearly finished eating, or when an aunt sweeps up a baby and smothers them in kisses without warning.

While it can be difficult to watch, I recognize that it isn’t always my place to intervene. When I can, I try to narrate what’s happening for the child, so they feel seen and understood: “Your aunt was so excited to see you that she picked you up and gave you lots of kisses. That was surprising, wasn’t it?”

Or, “You’re telling me you don’t want another bite of cheese, but your grandma would like you to try a little more before you go play.” Or simply, “I hear you want to get down now.”

These comments are directed to the child, not critical of the adult—they acknowledge the child’s perspective.

I’ll admit, I’ve occasionally told small untruths to protect a child while avoiding offending an adult. I have mixed feelings about this because honesty and authenticity are values I want to model, and it feels contradictory to lie and then justify it by saying I didn’t want to hurt someone’s feelings.

I sometimes wonder if it might be better to be straightforward and authentic: “I’d prefer if you asked before picking up the baby,” rather than saying, “She’s getting over a cold, and I don’t want you to catch it.”

Another example: “I know you’d like your child to share his bike with mine, and I appreciate that, but your son is clearly not interested, and that’s okay. I’ve asked my child to choose a different toy to play with instead.”

I recognize that every situation is unique, but I like to consider these approaches as I navigate the balance between honesty, advocacy, and sensitivity.